Table For Two

my husband and I are passionate about music. He is much more talented than I am, but I think we are equally as passionate about it.
It's amazing to me how one song can take you back to a moment in your life. I have several songs that lead me to different places.
I suppose the best thing that has ever been created is what's called "A mixed tape". My generation might not know what that is, but it would basically mean to put together a play list on your iPod. The creation that I am talking about, however, is a genuine mixed cassette tape. One that is labeled "Sunshine's Mix" or something along those lines.
There are several songs that I would have on my personal mix to represent my life, but there is one specific song that has been there for at least 7 years.
Caedmon's Call is one of the most creative, down home Christian bands that I have ever heard. I'm usually not a huge fan of "Christian" music, but Caedmon's Call steals a place in my heart. They have a song called "Table for Two" on their album entitled 40 Acres. (Side note: it is well worth the 9.99 you will pay to download the entire album on iTunes)
There is a line in the song that is constantly resounding in my heart and I feel like it is getting stronger.

The line goes like this:

"Well this day's been crazy
But everything's happened on schedule
from the rain and the cold
To the drink that I spilled on my shirt
'Cause You knew how You'd save me
before I fell dead in the garden
And You knew this day
long before You made me out of dirt

And You know the plans that You have for me
And You can't plan the end and not plan the means"

Wow. That's some powerful stuff. He KNOWS the plans that He has for me and He can't plan the end and not plan the means. Wow. He really has my life in His hand. He really wants me to make my own choices, but wants me to consult Him when I am deciding which way to go.
Just like any good father, He wants what's best for me.

*break*

In an attempt to be transparent, I will say this. There have been moments over the last few years, months, weeks, and even days when I wonder why we are in Lebanon, IN. We have grown to absolutely love this place and the people who are here. We have a genuine passion to see the people here come to know Jesus in a very real way and we are honored that we get to be part of the process.
We know that there is so much in store for our lives and we believe we are exactly where we are supposed to be.
Even with all that is going on, it is so tempting to think "what's next?" If it's this good now, how can it get better? We never want to look at this as our training ground, but as our actual battle. We want to give everything we have to the people here and right now. However, because we have seen how God works, we know that there is so much more to come.
Do you ever get the feeling that something great is going on around you? It's almost like an anxious feeling, but it's really like the floodgate is about to open. It's almost like you're on the verge of something really great, but you just have no idea what it is. That's what we've been feeling.

We (I) are (am) learning the difference between contentment and complacency. We are begging God to help us be content and in the same breath begging Him to never let us grow complacent.

Thanks to Caedmon's Call, I am reminded that as long as we are walking in obedience, then every thing is happening right on schedule. I am also reminded that He really cannot plan the end and not have a plan for all of the things that come in between.

I am learning that I am "CALLED" to live out my life on a day to day basis in love and truth. I am learning what it means to have PURE RELIGION: to love the poor and the widows. I am learning that it is absolutely better to speak up and out against injustice than to choose to take a seat on the side lines.

Through the thousands of mistakes I make on a daily basis, I am realizing that I am responsible to walk in love and obedience, taking risks, and having a profile of one who is obesessed.

Excuse me while I go clean the coffee stain from my shirt,
Sunshine

...once school is done...

Any person who knows me knows that I think I have a touch of ADD. I actually tend to think that it runs in my family. I have scattered thoughts constantly and sometimes have trouble connecting the dots. This makes for interesting conversations typically in my life.

I have so many random thoughts concerning the end of school. I think - no, I am CONVINCED - that my life is going to be a glorious Utopia when I complete my final class on May 18, 2010.

Perhaps then I can regain control of my entire life once school is done.

I can dedicate my time to the youth ministry once school is done.
I can have more time to work out once school is done.
I can read the books that I have wanted to read once school is done.
- Boundaries in Marriage
- A Biography on Martin Luther
I can spend more quality time with my husband once school is done.
I can play with my daughter and take her on lots of picnics once school is done.
I can take a photography class once school is done.
I can engage in relationships once school is done.
I can learn to love running once school is done.
I can read Adeline books and teach her about life once school is done.
I can give more time to the church doing the things I love once school is done.
I can develop the admin side of the Revolution once school is done.
I can show my husband how much I adore him once school is done.
I can encourage the people around me once school is done.
I can volunteer in the community doing things I love once school is done.
I can go places randomly with friends once school is done.
I can love my family like I'm meant to love them once school is done.
I can call my family more once school is done.
I can drink starbucks and have good conversation at starbucks once school is done.
I can write my book once school is done.
I can send random cards to people who need and deserve them once school is done.
I can learn to cook fun meals (including desserts) once school is done.
I can be a better friend to the people around me once school is done.

My friend recently pointed out to me that she didn't think my life was going to change as much as I thought it was going to once school is done. I am convinced that it will. I figure I will have eight extra hours a week that I'm not sitting in the class room plus an additional five hours a week that I'm not doing homework or thinking about class or planning meals around class or finding a babysitter for while I'm in class or ... or ... or ... (fill in the blank).

I will most likely go for my Master's in the next two to three years, depending on what life throws at me. For now, I will focus on finishing my two classes that I start this week.
We are taking our annual family vacation to Florida this year the week after school is complete. Something tells me that I am going to have more fun (and more of a relaxing time) on this vacation than on any other vacation that I have ever taken. I will ENJOY my husband and my daughter and our time together to regroup.

I realized the other day that the first time I ever felt my daughter kick when I was pregnant was when I was sitting in class on a Wednesday night. My daughter doesn't know what it is to not have a mom in school. I am glad that hopefully this is teaching her the value of education, but of course am nervous that she feels neglected.

Well. I must go. You guessed it. I have a 30 page paper due in one class and a 10 page due in the other. I have to start them so that I don't get even more overwhelmed than I already am.

I can be stress free ... once school is done.

Eat to Live - Day One

I feel like there is a major chapter in my life that is coming to a close soon. School. Most people dread the thought of going to school... I do not. I have this sick obsession with school. I love the thought of learning by lecture, doing homework, getting grades, etc.
In exactly SEVEN weeks (forty nine days), I will officially be a graduate of Indiana Wesleyan University. I will be boarding a plane on a family vacation in exactly seven weeks to be able to celebrate the achievement.
In order to have an enjoyable time, I have made a commitment to do my best to lose some weight before we go.
My husband (who is incredible) has agreed with me to do a plant based diet with me for six solid weeks.
Let me tell you what I had for breakfast. It was amazing. A shake that consisted of: a banana, strawberries, blueberries, soy milk, and a handful of spinach lettuce. I know, right? You wouldn't think that would taste amazing, but I can assure you, it did!
For lunch, I have had a salad with a little dressing, an apple, and an orange. I haven't been hungry all day, but suddenly I feel famished.
I realized, recently, that I have a strong food addiction. That's right, I said it. I have an addiction to food. I eat when I'm FEELING any thing, not necessarily just when I'm feeling hungry.
I'm not hungry, but it is a habit for me to SNACK right about now, so I am resisting the urge and typing out this blog instead!

Anyway, here's to day one of Eat to Live by Dr. Joel Furhman. I know that the payoff will be great. I am trying not to focus on the big picture of "six weeks", but am instead going to take it day by day. The more I think about it, I'm not even at the point that I CAN take it day by day, but instead meal by meal. I can do this. I can get through this day.
I will keep you as up to date as possible... here goes nothing!