emancipated.

–verb (used with object), -pat⋅ed, -pat⋅ing.
1. to free from restraint, influence, or the like.
2. to free (a slave) from bondage.

Finally. The holiday season is over. I know this might come to a shock to most, but I am not a big fan of "the Christmas season".

Gleaning wisdom from one of my favorite movies: Charlie Brown's Christmas, Lucy is speaking to Charlie Brown and says: "Look, Charlie, let's face it. We all know that Christmas is a big commercial racket. It's run by a big eastern syndicate, you know."

Maybe that's why I'm not a big fan of the Christmas season.

Two days before Christmas, we had an ugly sweater party at the Revolution. We ate a big dinner and had a ton of fun. At the end, Ryan pulled up all of the students to sit on the floor and read them the Christmas story. As he read it, I was quickly reminded that I really do like Christmas.

As the days went on, we went to Ganda's house Christmas eve. There weren't a lot of presents which was nice. It was all about family and eating and hanging out and eating and eating more.

A few days later, we spent the night at Ryan's childhood home. It was a full house! Ryan's brother and wife and son came in from out of town and we all had a big sleepover! Ryan's sister and her husband and three girls were there but were unable to stay the night.
It was the same situation: hang out, eat, laugh, eat, play wii, eat. You get the cycle.
During a conversation with my SIL Jamie and MIL Robin, I decided that I was going to adopt Jamie's thought process for weight. She told me to just act as if I was once 300 pounds, so I would always feel good about where I currently was. Hilarious.

Here I am on January 3rd regretting all of the eating. I feel sick. Still.

Most people don't know this about me, but I have an addiction to my weight. It's more like an obsession. Almost every morning for the past few years, I stand on the scale (you know, like I'm supposed to - right after I pee and right before I get in the shower. naked so I can weigh less. :) )

Today, I have been emancipated from the bondage of my scale. I picked it up while I was tempted to stand on it and I took it outside and threw it away. Just like that. No one could have talked me off the ledge. I will no longer be dictated by a number. There. I said it.

I desire health. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. Although I have a goal weight in mind, I am now driven by the desire to have more energy, feel good about myself, sleep better, and be alive longer. It's amazing to me how there is a direct correlation between how I physically feel and how I run my life. My relationships all around are better - with God, my husband, my daughter, friends, and family. My attitude is better. The list could go on and on.

So, friends and neighbors. Today is my day. I am choosing health. I know that this won't be an easy journey. I know that I will be tempted along the way. But I know this is best.

I will be using this tool of blogging to post how things are going. I've gone back and forth about posting my "starting weight" but I'm not going to just yet. Why? Because I just threw my scale away and have no idea what it officially is (duh).

Mostly though, because that's not why I am doing this. This is about health.

So today, I celebrate. I am no longer a slave to a box that tells me a magic number.